Beth and I had a fun craft day together recently. So much fun that I forgot to get out my camera. We redid her booth at the antique mall, made a run to Costco (where I kept mumbling to myself, "we're gonna need a bigger boat car"), then made a couple of books from some great old albums she'd found at an estate sale.
She gave me a lesson in stitching the signatures into the book. But, I had a hard time with trying to be precise with templates, and poked my own holes with a needle. Her book is going to be lined up much better than mine. I always go with the idea of throwing something together "good enough" then hiding any crookedy spots with plenty of lace.
We spent most of the afternoon cutting paper, and sewing it in. She had to help me so much, she didn't get hers put together that day.
It was also a play date for our dogs. Dorothy Rosebud has been in hell since the kittens were born. She never liked the cats at all, but when Pumpkin became a Protective Mama Cat with a Temper, Dorothy's life fell apart. Then, along comes Honey, the big galoot of a puppy who thinks Dorothy makes the most interesting squeaky noises when squeezed.
I've been keeping Dorothy away from Honey, but honestly, I don't even have to try. She keeps herself tucked into hidey holes and darts furtively from one secret spot to another, always on the lookout for attack by kittens, their mom, or the giant dog who adores playing with her.
I thought I'd get her out of the house for the day, and it wasn't until I saw how happy she was at Beth's that I fully realized how terrible she felt at home. All day at Beth's, she was full of energy, happiness, and wiggles. Typical Yorkie behaviour. I'd forgotten just how happy she used to be, because her mood changes were so gradual, I didn't realize how drastic they were.
Now, I'm determined to do something to make her life better. I've seen how she can thrive and have fun again.
It kills me to think of giving her away. Because she is my baby. She is such a snuggler. But with all of the dogs, chickens, cats, and kids, life is too overwhelming for her here. I have to think of what is best for her, and not be selfish about wanting to keep her myself so she can be my teddy bear at night (she likes to be held under my chin when I sleep).
But I think I'd sleep even better knowing that she wasn't living her life in terror when I wasn't holding her. I don't know that I am ready to give up yet, I started to write an ad to find the perfect home for her, but I couldn't go through with it.
Still, I have to think about her, not me. She was injured as a baby, and has a bad leg. Honey grabs it and has re-injured her. Luckily, my son is a massage therapist and can repair the damage (he is MAGIC). That doesn't mean it isn't going to keep happening, though. Being in fear is bad enough, but getting hurt is even worse. Plus, that makes the terror even greater.
It is breaking my heart to see her fade away to a shadow of herself. Seeing her jump with joy and play at Beth's house with her brother, Button, gave me hope that she can have a good life again.
Yes, I know it is all my own fault. I do LOVE animals and wish I could have dozens of them. But it is irresponsible to take on more than I can properly care for. This is a problem I caused myself by filling my house up too much. Dorothy is suffering from my mistakes.
I've let her down, and I have to fix it.
Honey is going to be a great dog, I can see the intelligence and the calm in her eyes. But for now she is a big oaf of a bouncy pup. It will be a while (years???) before that stage has passed.
But in the meantime, Beth and her sweet husband, have offered to let Dorothy stay with them for the month of October. That will give the giant Golden some time to mature, at least a little. Then, I've made an appointment with a dog trainer for private sessions for the two combatants. I'm also keeping Dorothy on a leash or carrying her around, to keep her near me.
This little dog is not going to be allowed to spend her life hiding away. Things have got to change for the better for her! Spending some time with her foster family and her bro is a start.