Karla's Cottage

Five years without him

I wrote this poem for Ryan on the 2nd anniversary of losing him.  At the time, it felt like a lifetime without him.  

Now it’s 5 years.

Grief never leaves, but it changes. I no longer sob daily, but he is in my mind every single day.

 

 

Almost two years without our Ry.

With his hidden strength beneath kind eyes

That had seen cruelty

But instead looked for peace.

He had to change his reality

To put his mind at ease.

A lifetime of struggle, a lifetime of change

A hurt boy, a hurt soul, a new man, a new day.

Carefully controlling the fears, to keep them at bay

Growing into his laughter, his comfort, his space

Learning to allow himself joy in a limited way.

It’s been too long without our Ry.

With his heart so weak, but true.

In his youth they saw that he was shy

But didn’t know he was deep

There was more to him than many knew

The unfairness, the waste, makes me weep

Has it been forever without our Ry?

It seems he was just here with me.

I still see his flashing smile as days go by

And I roam where we walked endlessly.

We could talk about nothing

As we talked of everything effortlessly.

There was more to him than he ever knew

The unfairness and loss makes me weep.

His kindness, his humor, his handsomeness too

Were all beyond where his thoughts could leap.

With torment and doubt clouding his mind

He worked, and he tried, he strived and he cried.

Did he ever feel that people could see

The man he became, the one so kind?

It’s been too long without our Ry.

Without his “I Love You” and a kiss on my head

A quiet smile when he said “hi”

And his warm, loving hugs would begin

The dog’s tiny paws would dance

After work when she heard his car pull in

Almost two years without our Ry

The pain and the loss makes me weep.

No, it’s not easier as days slip by

This is a suffering I’ll keep.

One person’s trash, was thoughtfully shared with someone who think its treasures. That someone was luckily me!

 
A couple of friends came by to enjoy the exquisite spring weather and have some chicken salad on fresh baked bread with me in my courtyard.

Both brought bags of stuff they had around and wondered if I could use.

Jen’s husband had bought a case of air spray cans meant for cleaning a key board and she asked if I wanted a couple since they’d never use up that many.  She’d remembered me complaining about how dusty Good Juju was and that I was worried that my sun catchers would soon become dirt collectors.

It wouldn’t have occurred to me to try spraying the crystals with an air can, but once she mentioned it, I was thrilled with the idea.  There are so many things there that could be so much simpler to keep tidy this way.

Shanna had a couple of sacks with her and seemed almost apologetic to offer them.  She said they were things her grandma had for years and were in pretty bad shape.  My ears pricked up with those words and my heart might’ve skipped a couple beats.

One package was stuffed with pieces of vintage fur, ideal for crafting Santas at Christmas.  The other contained all of these millinery floral bunches.  One of my favorite things in the world.

See why?  These are all perfectly faded and tattered.  I see many exciting craft projects ahead for me, as well as clean chandeliers in my booth.  Thanks to my pals!

A big surprise

My birthday was a thoughtful one.  My husband planned a surprise party and a bestie offered to host it at her house.

She even baked her mom’s special Italian Cream Cake for me.   And it was even better than it looks.  My buddies knew about this for a couple months and all kept the secret.   I almost blew it by doing yard work all day til 5, then begging for Rich to go pick up a pizza so I could stay home and eat in my Jammie’s instead of going to a dinner reservation at 6.

ooops

Shan’s home has a screened in porch where we took in the perfect, May weather while eating dinner.  Then I was surprised again by being showered with bouquets and plants, as well as a bag of vintage goodies from Angie, and a hand made friendship scrapbook compiled of over twenty years worth of photos of people I love.  

It was a lovely evening, always is when I spend time with friends.

One more surprise was seeing this painted tin I’d done decades ago for my pal’s mom.  It’s now hanging in her own home and I don’t remember the last time I saw it.   I was pleasantly pleased to see I still liked it.  (Sometimes art of the past can cause remorse.)

There were even balloons!  And a banner!  Both are happily on display at the cottage.  I don’t think I’ve gotten either since I was a kid.  

Thank you, Rich, and to all my friends.  It was kind of you to do this for me.  

Delicious dates

How did I go 66 years thinking that I didn’t like dates?  I recently discovered that they are one of my very favorite foods after seeing so many reels about how yummy they are and ways to cook with them.  Those stories made me think I needed to give the fruit another chance.  

I guess I’d only eaten them chopped up in trail mixes and that is a whole different thing.  You miss the gooey, Carmel like flavor and texture that way.

When I was visiting my family in Indiana, I decided to try one of those ideas I’d seen online.  It was simple, no recipe needed.  Slice a date, take out the pit, add a nut and a bit of cheese, roll it in bacon, then cook.

We used Brie and seasoned almonds, but I’d say any number of combos would work, like goat cheese and cashews, or cream cheese and pecans.  

I went sparingly with the bacon, about a third of a slice on each wrapped treat.  And we over cooked them a tad, because I wasn’t paying attention.  But I enjoy a char flavor, so I was happy to have burnt ones.

This is the only time I’ve sampled any of the cooking ideas that I’ve seen, and would probably do it again.  And will  try a few more ways to prepare dates too.

 Although I love them so much as is, that I don’t need to do anything at all with them besides treating them like a piece of candy.  And treating myself by keeping them on the counter in a pretty, lidded dish to snack on throughout the day.  (I guess those are called candy dishes, huh?  Appropriate!)

 

 

In appreciation of a generous friend

A while back, Beth gifted me a bagful of vintage paper scraps, odds and ends, plus a pile of delicious, old linens.

Inside the bag of goodies was a book cover she had started but never finished.

There was wonderful ephemera, original and printed along with pages of cardstock she had stamped too.

And the lace!

Oh! The lace!

 I see fairiy dresses galore in my future.  So many great bits and bobs to craft with.

As a thank you, I finished putting her book cover together into a junk journal she could embellish.  The only item I used that wasn’t part of her de-stash, was this Charlotte tag.

 I decorated the cover with a sweet button card that was in the pile of never ending, vintage goodness and used the two remaining buttons on it as a clasp to wrap a string around as a closure.  It was hard for me to stop at that point. I adore crafting a book, but I wanted her to have fun adding tidbits to the interior.

Thanks, Beth!

 

 

 

 

 

Sewing and concrete

For a person who dislikes sewing as much as I do, I end up doing quite a few sewing related projects.

Like these hand made pincushions in vintage vessels.

There is even an entire shelf of sewing related goods.  Which I do find interesting.  I told myself never try to sell anything I don’t like, because you might just get stuck with it.

There is also a display of pet themed items.  More up my alley than sewing.  But I sure enjoyed making the pincushions  I hope they sell so I can craft more of them.

Another thing that needs to go are these birdbaths.  Not because I don’t like them, I love them, and all of the cherubs, to pieces.  And it might look like I never sell the angels, but actually, I do, I just keeping buying more. I’ve had a steady stream of concrete statues in my booth since Christmas.  

Christmas angels, valentines cherubs, garden statues, I love them for many seasons.


The issue is that these concrete pretties are bad for my torn rotator cuff that I’m too stubborn to have repaired.  And my husband pointed out that it isn’t exactly fair to ask him to haul the hefty birdbaths around either. So, I see some rock bottom sale prices coming in the future if I still have them in my booth.