And the cupboard was bare

Thanks to those of you who shopped in my stores over the holidays and the New Year clearance sales.  I was torn up about Sugarwing's arm and losing my dog, among other issues, so I was not paying proper attention to the shops and decided just to let them clear out so I could start over. 

And the clearance sale did just that for me! wow.  This is one of the cabinets I store most of my tidbits in after listing them, and as you can see, it is down to bare bones. I've got piles of new things ready to photograph and add to the shops, but for now, its just down to a few basics that I keep in stock and not many other items.  Etsy is completely empty and there are only 5 pages in the Boutique, compared to the 14-15 I had rockin for the holidays. There were multiples of all the millinery packs, and now each one is the last of its kind, all the others sold.(But I have more to come, if I can snap out of my doldrums and get out the camera)

Did I say, THANK YOU??  I appreciate you coming here to shop with me, I know that the web is huge and there are tons of choices bombarding you everytime you look around.  I try to make my packages extra pretty to let you know that I'm glad you came  by and visited my store.

I have not made a dent in the pile of new items left to stock so far. I did restock the Charlottes, because that was easy, I just renewed the existing listing. For the other goodies, I'll have to take photos, edit, and list them one by one. But I promise, there is some gooooood stuff comin!

That is, if I can get myself in gear.  I'm just not feeling it right now.  Typical winter blahs maybe, but the weather has been far from blustery and blah.

Sparkle is missed, that is for sure. I'm sad about that. 

And there have been some other issues family wise that are getting to me.  Just enough to sap my creativity.

In the meantime, I'm making myself do little crafty things.  Just enough to keep me from hibernating with a book and avoiding the world around me.

Last night, we had the family over for soft fish tacos (broiled cod, red & green peppers, and onion, drizzled with olive oil, lime juice, chilli powder and sea salt then wrapped in sun dried tomato tortillas and topped with white cheese and heirloom tomatoes).  On the side, we had fresh guacamole.  So, I had about 5 avacodo peels.  And I hate to waste anything, so I made dye.

The peels were boiled in about 4 cups of water, then left to sit over night.  Today, I dipped ribbon and lace in the water.

Avocado peels make a beautiful, old pink, not a bright one.  It looks like the color of vintage silk slips.

After about 3/4 of the dye water was soaked up, I added leftover coffee and dyed some more lace with that color.

Then, when that second batch was about gone, I poured in more water and added a few drops of blue food coloring.

What a pretty robin's egg color it makes!  These ribbons will be perfect for tying up some little somethings for Birdsong in April, isn't it the perfect springtime color?

Birdsong Two is almost full, we have space for 5 people.  Its really nice that so many people from last year returned and a couple are bringing friends.  That means a lot to me, that so many ladies who were at our first party want to come to our second.  That's probably enough to cheer me up right there, if I wasn't in such a blah, contrary mood, I'd be dancing around with joy just thinking about it.

I don't think there is anything wrong with letting myself feel a bit down now and then. Life is about contrast, there has to be some down to the ups. 

So....

I'll roll with it. I acknowledge that I'm down, and let myself mope a bit but not waller in it. 

I'll try to do little crafty projects until I'm back to feeling arty again and I really want to make something.

I'll indulge myself a bit.

I'll  make a list of why I'm sad, face it, honor and understand it.  To bury the sadness just plants a seed to grow depression.  

 

Here is my list, it does help to write it all down and get it out of my head.  I see what I can face, what is trivial, what is just part of life, and what really deserves attention.  If not, its all some amorphous blob of doom over my head that I can't define.

1.  My dog died
2. Seeing Sugarwings and my husband hurt shook me up, even though I know they are fine now, I'm still reacting.
3. Post holiday let down
4. I worry about my kids
5. its winter!
6. Picnik is closing, and I love that site, and use it daily!!
7. Ryan's car broke down
   
8. Sometimes I get treated like a doormat
9. I worry about my kids
10. Christmas cookies are stuck to my butt.
11. I miss my sisters, the older we get the further away they seem
12. Taxes are lurking
13. My studio is knee deep in clutter and I don't want to deal with it
14. I worry about my kids
15. Its winter.
16. I need a nap
17. I'm always behind, can't quite catch up
    

See, its not like I have giant, looming issues. Life is really pretty durn good around here andI know that I'm lucky. But for now, I'm going to take the rest of the day off the read a book and rest up a bit. Mabye an afternoon movie too...

I could do a "good things" list that would be thousands of times longer than my bad things list. But I won't for now, I'm going to roll with the downess a bit and then get on with the good stuff.

Comments

[Mary Green]

Sending you lots of love, my friend, hang in there.

[Soarenth]

It's nice to see a time that a bare cupboard is a good thing. Hope you get into a groove of fun replenishing it!

You are able to identify and accept those down times in yourself? Wow, I have so much to still learn in life to get to that point. Maybe I need to play with pretties too (like all your ribbons!) to do something small until ready for actually making things again. Thank you for getting me started thinking.

And I'm really sorry to hear there are family troubles. You talk about those so rarely that it must be getting pretty bad. I feel helpless not being able to come comfort you in person. Would that I had a magic wand that made it all better! As a substitute, will you take a hug? *BEARHUG*

[Lori]

Lots of hugs Karla!!

[Janet Ghio]

Oh Karla-I'm sorry you are feeling blue and I know you know that it will pass, but when you are in the middle of it, it can seem kind of overwhelming! Just keep putting one foot in front of the other and you muse and enthusiasm will come back. Reading your list,it makes perfect sense why you feel the way you do! A good book and a movie are good tonics as well as doing just a little something creative--awesome color on those dyed laces--who knew avocados would dye pink??!!

[fairyrocks]

Poor -Inspired- Mother Hubbard!!
You have been through the works haven't you?
I read the post about your sweet Grand Daughter, and held my breath till you said she was going to mend.
Had a similar experience a couple of years ago. It sure gives one 'Perspective' http://fairyrocks.blogspot.com/2010/07/perspective.html
So, you can know that I felt this for you also.
Take care of you...all of you!!

[Francy]

You need to put your worry in a box for a day and recharge your batteries...........VERY easy to say, however, VERY hard to do. Just know you have raised awesome kids and they will be fine.......with or without your worry. (My kid tells me this all the time :o) )

Have a restful week.

[Marilyn Parker]

Karla ~ Wish I had the words to "make it all better". Enjoy your day, get a good nights sleep, tomorrow it will be better and the day after that a little "more" better. And then next week we'll have something else to worry about with these kids of ours. (We mothers are like that, you know!) Love You. (And just think, we've never even met in person.)
Marilyn in Missouri

[Terri Gordon]

Hi Karla, I am so sorry that you are feeling blue, I know that everyone goes through this from time to time, it is good that you wrote it down, that always helps me. I know when I get blue, it is ok, but I try to keep creative, and that really helps me. I seem to always get this way this time of year. Take care and you and your family will be in my thoughts and prayers. Hugs, Terri

[sandy]

Karla, sometimes a pity party is just what you need to get all the sadness out. Just remember that it is temporary and go with the flow. I'm a firm believer in getting it all out. Get a sad movie and let the tears flow. Sending you a big hug and a touch of sunshine to cheer you.
Sandy

[Laurie]

Lots of hugs. When I'm feeling that way I like to put in a Jane Austen movie (any of the book adaptations) and get lost in another century. Just remember, you can't do everything, all the time, for everybody. Your heart will tell you what is most important. I only have one son and sometimes I think I am bleeding love for him and I want to figuratively follow him around with big wings wrapped around him to keep him safe...but I can't and I must not, and I could almost panic at that thought. So, I know.

[Becky H]

Karla, I think we all get the winter blues; but when we are worried about our children, that really weights on our heart. It is hard to sit back and watch the struggles but it will all work out in the end. You are in my thoughts and just roll with it and "This too shall pass".

[Tricia k. Johnson]

Going to the movies to help with the blues …what a great idea! Make sure to get extra buttery popcorn…that should help for sure.
Yes, Let yourself be bummed for a bit ..it's okay ..we can't always be "Up" and I'm so guessing when your "Up" it's ten fold to the times your down!
Have a relaxing me time kind of day with only a bit of worry about your kiddo's.
Take care, Tricia k.

[bettyann]

sweet thought winging their way out to you...this year was my first year in along time I didn't suffer from depression...change of meds..I like your words of burying bad thoughts seeds depression...take care..

[Christie]

I deal with the down feelings a lot, you make think this funny, but I always think of you as having the perfect life, the one I wish for. A caring husband, lots of family around, a close relationship with your sons, being able to really have a conversation with mine would be stupendous! Your time to devote to creativity, so so many people that care about you. And though I don't know you,in reading between the lines, I sense that you know how to handle a not so good situation with others, and make it work, so I sometimes thing to myself in such a situation...."what would Karla do". I know this must sound a bit strange since I don't really know you, but I do know you well enough to know that you are cared for by many...including me. The Angels send their love. Christie

[Melissa Hansson]

I know what you mean about the winter blahs. My parents are coming to Oregon to visit and it's been hard to get excited about cleaning and making plans when it's so dark and rainy and cold. All I want to do is curl up with a book.

But I wanted to let you know that I LOVED both my packages I ordered from you. It's always a delight to get a little treat and yours are so lovely. Thanks for that.

Be kind to yourself and enjoy the winter season for what it is.

[Charlene]

Karla,
I soooooooooooo understand where you are at!!!! I think we all get there from time to time & I think you're right on with the cure... write it down, feel it, give it wings & set it free so you will feel the weight fly away... Wishing you peace, heeling, & joy from your blessings. HUGS from a friend.
Charlene

[Karen B.]

Dear sweet Karla,
I know how you feel! I send you heartfelt hugs hoping they might take a bit of the worrying away from you. I truely hope that you will be able to sit down, take a deep breath and hopefully things will soon get better. A bit every day.
many,many hugs
Karen B. ~ Todolwen

[TinaTx]

We all have days like that. (some of us more than others) Hang in there.
That is one cute ruffled backside in that last picture.
Hope the rest of your week is better.

[Karla Nathan]

Sent from my iPad

[maggie raguse]

hi karla,
just writing everything down is a great start to conquering the doldrums. it's bleak and rainy here today, and i curled up with a good book and wasted away the day (and my to-do list got even longer). I feel a little guilty, but it was such a good escape that it was probably just what I needed. Hang in there. Hope your worries and your blues lighten up as the days go by.
-maggie

[Patty in Kansas]

Karla....what a healthy way of looking at a normal bit of being down...and your reasons are REASONABLE for being a little down. The loss of a beloved little pet is always long remembered, and worrying about Sugarwings is normal, as are the other things you mentioned in your blog. Keep your chin up, and take a few extra hours "off" each afternoon until things turn around. Love, Patty in Kansas

[pattie]

Well my dogs not gone and my loved ones haven't been in an accident but I can totally totally relate to the rest..... I've been feeling overwhelmed lately too.. Sometimes I think when kids are grown you worry even more b/c we can't control anything in their lives anymore or protect them from things like when they were small... I will be praying for you Karla!((HUGS))

[mercedes scott]

Karla, I'm desperately trying to rearrange my schedule so I can make BirdSong... I hope I can do that in time before the 5 spaces sell out! On a different note, I agree with so many things on your list... I'm bummed about Picnik as well... and I worry about MY kids ALL THE TIME; day and night. I wonder, will it ever go away? I don't have any grandkids yet, but me thinks I will probably worry about them too! Keep on trucking' and don't forget you have lots of friends out here who care about you and admire your talents and God-given gifts of creativity! :)

[Jennifer Grenko]

I am so in touch with so many of those feelings/reasons for being down, the winter, the doormat, the taxes, the kids, the clutter, picnik, post holiday blues, etc... The best thing that helps me is focusing on things to look forward to. It's hard to get inspired or blog or have energy to any of the normal things when life gets like this but if I have that one thing to look forward to, it's my light at the end of the tunnel... hugs.. Jennifer

[Judy B.]

I'm not an avocado fan, but am going to get some, make guacamole, share it with friends, and then use the peels to dye lace! I may even try the fish taco idea!

Had NO IDEA that green avocado skin would produce a pink dye! I am bummed out about Picnik as well! I have tried Photoshop and get stymied over "layering" and other things I have no idea what they are talking about. Picnik was simple and very user friendly -- unlike Photoshop!! Hopefully there is some other program just as easy to use that we will find one day soon!!! Fingers crossed!

I worry about my kids and grandkids all the time, too. It's just that we're mothers and it's our job to worry about them!

Hope things improve for you!!!

[Jennifer Hayslip]

Karla,
I feel like I've been away and out of touch. Im just not getting around to catch up on my blogs and I now discover all you have been going thru and dealing with. :( Im terribly sorry you've been feeling so down and dealing with SOOO much! ((HUGS!)) It's so unfortunate when it rains..it pours all at once. Keep doing the small things you enjoy that help lift your spirits. Take time for yourself and allow yourself to feel all the feelings and emotions you are dealing with. Just know sunshine, spring, and happy bright days are ahead and this moment too shall pass. ;) xoxo,Jenn

[Leanne]

Congrats on emptying the cupboard (almost) ... hoping you find small moments of happiness to get you through this sad time...

[Robin]

I know you are already feeling better Karla, but I thing you have a mini form of PTSD ( post traumatic stress disorder) when something really scary happens the after affects seep out in many different ways. I pulled out in front of a tractor trailer last yr and my car got stuck on ice and I almost got creamed. It was very traumatic. For weeks afterwards I couldn't shake the blues and finally went to the dr. She hit the nail on the head for me. You are doing the right thing by talking about it and taking time for yourself.

[Charlotte]

That is a really good list, full of reasons to be blue for a day or so. The important thing is that you know, and we know, that you will bounce back straight away...'cause that's the way you roll. For me, the important thing here is that you can IDENTIFY what is getting you down. Very useful. I'm sunny, but when I'm NOT, I try to get to the heart of the matter. And you NEVER need to 'splain yourself and put on a happy face to us. We like the warty Karla just as much as the sassy Karla.

[jeanie]

AH, well, all this makes a lot of sense. It's tough, isn't it, when everything seems to hit at once. I know you already have your groove back (because I read backwards) but still, it's a lump and I'm glad you are treating yourself gently.

Avacado PINK? Who knew?

[Elaine L.]

Wow, Karla! I can't believe I have not been to your blog, since the 17th. I have been preoccupied with finishing chemo for the second time in 18 months and doing ovarian cancer research. I realize how much I have missed you!

I LOVE the mail bag I ordered from you and plan to put some rose potpourri in it that I have made and hang it on my iron bed post.

I am so sorry you've had felt some sadness of late, but know that you feel on top of things, soon.

Love,
~elaine

[hariette]

Karla, praying your sense of yuks and blahs, and real grief are soon lifted from your heart and mind. I love your blog... it takes me away from my own blahs and yuks.

We had to downsize and move into a little efficiency home we built in my daughter's garage due to so many economic woes. And while it definitely was the right move for us, I had to sell thousands of my old things and give up my Victorian-style bedroom. Am now trying to figure out ways to redecorate my little bedroom in monochromatic creams, ivory, and sand. No windows so am limited. And I find your blog so pleasing to take me away from the fact that my limited mobility curtails so much of what my brain wants my body to do.

I lost my dog last summer. It was horrible. It was my son's dog and when my son was killed in a 4-wheeler accident 7 years ago, we adopted Rowdy. Right after he came to us, Rowdy had an accident which tore his front leg so badly I had to have it amputated. He did okay for years, hunting armadillos, skunks, and chasing coyotes. However, his 89 pounds finally destroyed his good leg and he could no longer move. It was horrible watch him struggle to stand long enough to relieve himself and heartbreaking to have to put him down. Never did that before. And so, I know it is hard to lose an animal.

And it's not easy being a mom (or grandma) and having kids we want the very best for and yet cannot control the circumstances of life. You have good reason to be blah, and to grieve. And I, a stranger, am encouraged by your courage to share your vulnerability with we who stumble across your haven of loveliness. God bless and keep you and yours. hariette