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May 31, 2020

Comments

Jane Palmer

Oh, Karla, my heart goes out to you! Thank you for sharing your thoughts, thoughts of a grieving mother. Praying for you and your family. Jane Palmer

Sherri Odell

I do not know you, but a mutual friend posted your blog...my heart is breaking for you and your family as I read this. I cannot even imagine the pain and sorrow that you are experiencing, and as a mother to two grown sons, I empathize with you. One of my sons is in South Korea, and my other son is here in Kansas City, and works at Costco. Like your family, we have kept our distance from him physically, as he is exposed to so much...and I never, ever dreamed of the potential side effects of our reactions to the virus....I will hold you and your family in my thoughts and prayers, and send you virtual hugs....

bobbie

Continuing with the hugs ~

Carol O'Connell

Oh Karla, my heart just breaks for your immense loss. I don't know you except through your blog but I can't help but feel such sorrow for you and your family. I want to send my sincerest sympathies and will hold you in my thoughts and prayers.

Carol Ryan

My heart is so sad for your loss. It is overwhelming and more than a mother can bear. All you want is to have your boy back. So, I'm just sending love to you in your time of grief. Love, Carol

Cathy K

Dear Karla and family, continuing to send hugs and peaceful thoughts (and share tears) for the loss of Ryan. Please take care of yourselves and don’t play the “what if?” game. You loved him so thoroughly, and he knew that. xoxo

Donna Joy

So sorry for your family's loss. It's always hard but it seems even more so during this time. We lost my mother in law in march. (Sudden stroke, not virus) Hadn't seen her in 3 weeks due to quarantine. Funeral was 6 people. Funeral home was empty except us & employee. Can't really put into words how all of this feels because we have nothing to compare it to. Take some comfort in that last hug & kiss.

Erica H

I am so sorry you all had to suffer in this way. What a blessed family you are to have each other.

Sharon Morrison

No Karla, you would not still have your baby boy. Had I been in Minnesota-when my daughter slipped and hung herself on the bar of a recumbent bicycle, I could not have saved her.
This is the guilt we carry when we loose a child or a spouse. It is a normal reaction to our need to protect our children.
There is an afterlife. We have been promised this. My Christian beliefs tell me this. Your son is well and happy as is my daughter. My daughter suffered depression as well and was in a bad place in her head that weekend.
When my pain gets unbearable, I try to think of her Joy now. Yes I cry, a lot, and often. I miss her everything. You will cry too, often, and feel like someone is strangling you, but hang on, the shock will lessen over time, but still you will carry him daily in your heart, and talk out loud to him, and you will feel his presence. You will never go through anything harder then the loss of a child. You are in my prayers daily.

Chrissy Conrad Allen

My heart goes out to you and your family! I have known Ryan since the 7th grade. Always a smile. Please remember this. Its never good bye. It's till we meet again.

Eileen in Fla.

So very sorry for your loss. Your post will help many people.

Milli wagoner

My heart hurts for your loss. I’m so very sorry. Praying and sending
(((Hugs))) your way.

Rachael

My heart breaks for you, Karla. Please do not blame yourself for your boy's passing. Look at all the lives he potentially saved at his nursing home job by being so mindful of not taking the virus to work and also the love he showed you all by being so careful as to not bring it home. He sounds like a true hero who has earned his angel wings. I'm so sorry for your heartache xoxo

jeanie

Oh Karla, this is such a brave, powerful and important post. And it had to be terribly difficult to write in so very many ways and I so admire you and am so grateful that you did. The days after any loss are profoundly agonizing when it is someone so close as a beloved family member. All the more, I should think, when it is your child.

I am so deeply saddened by this loss. Please remember two things -- first, you gave Ryan a great gift by relaxing the hugs rule that night. He had hugs from everyone in your home who loved him that evening when he went to bed. So many these days don't have that. And you will have that touch memory in your heart and soul always. And second, this is one case where I think nothing you could have done would have changed the outcome. Please don't live in guilt.

What you have done, though, in writing this, is making a difference in the awareness of all of your readers by reminding them that taking care is more than staying in, staying far, wearing the mask. It is attending to your health and stress. It's an important reminder. I'm just sorry that the reason we must be reminded is because of your loss.

Much love and healing wishes.

S. Peggy Venteicher

Your words struck many emotions in my being.

Sandra Thomson

Oh Karla, I am beyond stunned and feel so very sorry to hear this. Ryan was a wonderful man.yes, he had his challenges but he took it in stride. I know that you must be hurting like you never have before. I know how deeply you loved Ryan. You and I had discussed about his difficulties and we share the fact that We both have kids that had needed more help that others.
Considering Ryan’s past heart problems there probably wasn’t anything that would have changed the outcome.The fact that he survived the first attack was a miracle. The younger they are the more fatal the attack can be. Sometimes I wish we could plug in a human to the computer and tell what is going on inside like they do cars. Doctors really are just well trained mechanics. I remember how Jennifer had major abdominal surgery at the age of 6 weeks, and how it is hard to know what the future will hold. Luckily she has been physically healthy since then but she lives the life like Ryan did. This does not change the wonderful contribution that they can make to life.Ryan was brave and determined to be the best he could be. And I know that he loved you deeply.I had only seen him passing through when I have been at your house.but remember at we thinking of getting the two of them together, problem was Jenifer was a little to old for him ,much less the fact that she lived in Texas.
I have been in my house since the middle of February, even before covid 19. My immune system is low especially for upper respiratory infections and I feared the flu as possibly as lethal. In the past few years I have acquired COPD from living with smokers most of my life. May 20 I went to the eye doctor for my annual exam and it freaked me out. I hadn’t driven for months and it was almost like I didn’t remember how to drive and I felt out of place. This virus is having a real impact on us and the rest of the world. I feel like I need to be extra cautious because of Jennifer. She is very high functioning but I am not sure she would be able to solve all the difficulties that would come her way. I went and had BRAC testing to see if we have the gene that I could pass on to her.Being the breast cancer gene I felt that if she had the gene I would think about a double mastectomy so that if she needed it I would still be here to give her physical and emotional support. Luckily we do not have the gene.
I wish we all knew what the future will hold for any of us and how to move forward with life. For you, luckily you have a wonderful family That will hold you while to greave. A lot of my friends have lost their husbands and my only advise to them has been do not push this out, grieve and work it through. In today’s world we don’t take time to be sick, cause we have to go back to work and do all the other things that seem so very important. I think that’s one of the reasons this isolation has hit everyone so deeply.But you know, sometimes there are things that are a lot more important, such as family .
I wish there was something I could say or do that could help you but I will pray that you will come to peace. If there is any thing please reach out to all who love and care for you. You have so many close friends.
One thing that is good is that he went quickly. I lost my mom on May 23 three years ago. She had heart problems for the last 20 years of her life, even though she lived to be 95. I was talking to her on the phone and she said she felt sick. I lived less that two miles from her and I hurried as fast as the law would allow but she was gone when I got there. It’s harder on us who are left behind but for her she would not have done well in the hospital lingering. So maybe the suddeness of Ryan passing was helpful for him More so than being an invalid for the rest of his life. I keep telling myself that that is the way she would have wanted to go and maybe that will have been the same for Ryan.
I’m not sure that I have helped you in your grief but know that I will be thinking of you and wishing that each day may Be less painful than the previous and that your wonderful memories console you,
Sincerely, Sandy and Jennifer Thomson

Karen B.

Dear sweet Karla,
you are in my heart and I am hugging you there all of the time.
My heart goes out to you and your loved ones.
Karen B. x

penny Spencer

Oh dear,I'm not a regular to your blog, but you have suffered the most terrible loss to a mothers' heart and I cry for you. Your beautiful boy will be with you always, especially at your side during your walks. The angel is beautiful. That you were given the gift of your last precious hug from and with your Ryan, oh, is so very touching. Take care.

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About Karla Nathan


Creating Art Journals


Mini Dress Form Workshop


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