Karla's Cottage

How are you? Seriously, how are you doing?

This pandemic seems to never stop.

Daily, I hear that multiple people I care about have gotten ill, or can’t get a test, or were exposed.  Not just a few people here and there, but

every

single

day.

The never ending contagion is always lurking in the back of my mind, a constant, “what’s next?”

It isn’t so much waiting for the next shoe to drop, it feels more like waiting for the next elephant to drop.

There is just a lot of sadness and worry rumbling and grumbling around in the backgrounds of our lives that sometimes we don’t even notice, it’s just a part of things.  

But it’s there.  Like having bad elevator music as the new soundtrack of your daily activities, you try not to listen, but then you find yourself humming some abhorrent song that you can’t shake.

Stir in a little inflation, a pinch of supply chain struggles, a big dollop of potential school closings, flavored with the hard to swallow taste of politics and  there you have it- underlying trauma brewing and simmering in your brain.

Then, the regular ups and downs we all face are added over those underlying, relentless worries.  No wonder you read about people snapping, they are stretched too tightly!

I'm so lucky to have a wonderful network of friends and family who support each other, and are there to talk to. But when so many of them have sad news to share, sometimes it just feels hopelessly sad all over.

I consider myself an even keeled person.  Someone who rolls with situations, does what they can to improve what can be improved and deals with what can’t.  And I vent, things don’t stay bottled up.  If you know me, you know every thing that has recently delighted or disappointed me because I am sharing it all.

But the other day, my spring was sprung.

Something that should not have turned into such a huge moment did, and I was so angry that my heart was racing, my head felt as if it might explode.  I talked myself down, made plans that could take care of the issue if it arose again, then decided I would craft some jewelry to give away, taking my thoughts off of myself and onto creating and thinking of others.

As the day went on, my shakiness and headache became worse not better, and I thought I should take my blood pressure (which is usually maintained at a nice, low rate).  It was high, but not sky high.  So I took Advil and a needed nap.  When I woke up, I felt worse and the BP was now at that sky high point.

After a few hours at the ER, it came back down, no damage done. The nurse and doctor I saw, were stretched to their limits but compassionate.  I felt silly taking up their time during a pandemic, but they told me not to feel that way, that stress can cause physical problems and that when it affects you that strongly you are in the stroke/heart attack danger zone.

So, take care of yourselves, don’t ignore the stress that eats at you, it can gobble you up if you let it.

 I thought I had a handle on things, but did I?  Do you?

 

It’s Just Some stuff

Having the puppies leave for their new families is rewarding.

Having the puppies leave for their new families is rewarding.

No matter how many times I tell myself this, it doesn’t make it any easier, I miss my puppies!  A few days after they went off on their new paths, we had family come to visit.  That was a welcome distraction.

Especially when they brought their own cute doggies along.

And of course, I still have this pup.

Who looks all grown up with her new haircut.

  We have had one problem after another.  So many that they are blending into one another, to form one big blob of problematic messiness.  But none too big, just an ongoing onslaught.

I tripped and cracked a rib, one puppy got sick, another got slightly injured, but all are okay.  I had a three year old washer break, replaced it with a brand new one that didn’t work, was lucky enough to get that one replaced and the newest one floods my laundry room.  I wasn’t shopping for the best deal, or certain options on the machines, I was just taking what the store could get and was glad to get one. But man, none of them were working? 

Of course during the pandemic, we are used to shortages and I figure that if my biggest issue is having trouble replacing appliances (I am looking at you, 8 month back order on a dishwasher), I am doing okay.

Our hot tub died on us last year, and one turned up to buy last week.  It was not the one we wanted, but it was the one we could get.  It worked and we were glad to get it.
 I started to climb in the other day for a relaxing soak on my achey rib after pulling weeds in the garden, had my shirt half off when I looked up to see a workman in the tower.

He had a bird’s eye view of a grandma starting to strip.  Poor guy. 

Our hot tub area is typically private, but a couple times a year, some brave soul climbs the tower to work on it.  I am not complaining about that either, that tower has been lucrative to us.

Our desk top Mac needed replaced, I was able to get one, not the one I wanted, but one I needed.  iPads were in stock, Rich could replace his along with his broken Rigid drill (whose ID number was blurred and the warranty wasn’t honored). We needed a new microwave, tires for my car, three new outdoor and two indoor faucets replaced.  Our camper has developed a weird electrical thing and hundreds of dollars later, is still not right.  There are more little broken issues, big issues, sad things, annoying things, but I am trying to look at it from the point of view that somehow it works out and we are lucky to afford the repairs, replacements, and to find something in stock somehow to get that done, even with shortages.

Then, our 7 month old truck broke down in Southern Missouri while Rich was camping.  The pandemic shortages became hard to ignore when we discovered it could be up to six months to get the part to fix it.  And I spent hours on the phone with rental companies trying to find a way to get a truck to the Ozarks to pick up Rich, Honey, and the RV.

Our local dealership came through and loaned us this shiny, blue savior and I drove 6-1/2 hours to fetch them and scoop them up to bring home. 

So far, the GM dealer is treating us very well and we hope to get this solved in a way that we don’t miss the rest of boating and camping season by not having a truck for months.

Except for a sick puppy, who is better, and a sore rib which is getting better, it’s all just stuff right? (Expensive stuff, but just stuff)  I know that and have been rolling with it as good as I can.

Believe me, I know that I am speaking from privilege and that my life is good, these are minor things.  I’m quick to thank and commiserate with the salesmen, clerks, repairmen, and parts people who are dealing with the brunt of not being able to get the things that are needed.  My problems are small.

After losing a son, losing a truck doesn’t seem like much.

But, a series of stresses does add up and I felt pretty dang sorry for myself yesterday.  My rib hurt, I’d been in the truck for 13 hours, and I just didn’t want to think about the deeper reasons that there were so many empty shelves and so few choices when shopping. Driving through parts of Missouri where the virus is spreading like wildfire and hospitals are over filled, and seeing that no one is wearing masks was the final straw.  

While I work on being grateful for what I have, it is painful to know that the virus is still spreading and the healing our world needs has slowed down and instead things are getting worse again, not better.

 

 

 

 

A little cabin in the woods

It has been a long, cold week here in Kansas, as it has been in a large part of the country.  We were only without power for a few hours, and our pipes froze up until we (meaning Rich) tucked a tarp around the bushes in front of where the pump goes into the basement. 

My heart goes out to the Texans who went through much worse.  

We built a big fire, piled our dogs and blankets on our laps and were just fine.  When we heard the weather forecast of bone chilling cold and about the possibility of rolling black outs to protect the grid, we did what we could to protect ourselves and pets.

I charged all of our devices and extra power packs, filled the bath tubs with water to use for flushing, and Rich brought some five gallon water bottles in from the garage. We had plans in place if things got worse, but never needed to start hanging tarps up in the hearth room or lighting candles in terra cotta pots for extra warmth.

Our dogs were very excited to see that the hens came to live in the basement for about a week or so during the coldest stretch.   And the cats were happy to be tucked into the hen house with all of the warmers and heated water out there, plus a cozy, insulated little box full of cushions to snuggle up in. While I was not quite as happy about chickens as house pets with hay tracked all over the kitchen from Rich’s boots and the dog’s feet, I was glad to know they were safe.

And that they didn’t really smell that bad.  Just a tad of a whiff now and then.  

But I did enjoy hearing their chatter and singing coming up through the vents.  

We did just fine, and I hope you are okay too?  Days like that can sure make you appreciate what you have, huh?  And remind me that I am blessed.

That we have a cute long cabin just for fun, and not as our actual shelter.  

Well, it is fun to have it now.  It was not an easy thing to build.  Maybe emotionally as much as physically for Rich.  

Chopping, hauling, and stacking the logs, coming up with the design and crafting the building throughout a long, hot summer was his way of working through the pain of losing our son.  I think a lot of tears mixed with the sweat of the hard work.

The project was mostly completed before winter came.  He still needs to gather fieldstone to enclose the chimney and is waiting for the logs to settle before chinking between them.  
The fireplace is functional, but not usable yet because of all the gaps between logs, the draft pulls too much smoke through the interior.

See what I mean about drafts?

For now, it is a little garage for our mower.  Later on, he will build a table from some wood leftover out of our grandfather tree (a special oak that he used to tell stories to the grandfairies beneath.  It fell over and was used to make our dining room table and dog crate) and add a hammock too.  

 

I froze my watch off

The dogs are so happy with their new, furry, chair protecting, throw that they do not seem to notice the cold.  This weather is scary cold, and the rolling blackouts make it a crap shoot for keeping warm. We woke up to no power on Tuesday, with minus 16 degrees outside.

It was only three hours for us, and we have a good fireplace with a heat blower on it, indoors, the temp only dropped to 56.  Other parts of our land aren’t doing as well, I hope that these temporary blackouts stop the problem from getting even worse!

Last week, I volunteered a second time at the Covid vaccine drive through and it was only 14 degrees at the highest point of the day.  This weather has gone beyond “cold snap” to “frozen smashed and broken”.  Or something like that.

I hate cold with a passion and my family knows that I am a cowering mess of fear when I think the swimming pool water might be a tiny bit more chilly than I like.  

Yes, quite the wimp.

I really didn’t think I could take being outdoors in that weather for six hours, but it is a cause that means a lot to me and I was so proud of myself for doing it.

It took:

• 3 pair of Cuddleduds leggings
• 2 Cuddleduds shirts
• a fleece vet
• a jersey lined, long lace skirt (because I could’t fit another pair of pants on)
• wool socks
• Ugg boots
• a fleece gaitor/hood
• fur lined hat
• fleece scarf
• lots of Toasty Toe warmers
• fleece gloves (I had mittens to wear over them, but was handling paperwork and couldn’t use the mits, dang)
• puffy jacket
• Pretty mask

Did I mention, LOTS of warmers?  I stuck them all over me.

I knew that all would show was my eyes, so I wore a ton of eye makeup.  But didn’t realize that the fleece gaitor would cause my mask to steam up and I’d have a wet, red, icy nose all day.   And that it would cause my mascara to melt into puddles that not only ran down my cheeks, but smeared in ragged half circles and froze above my eyes.  

As if I had drunkenly drawn on weird eyebrows with a black sharpie.

And no one told me that I looked demented, as I greeted hundreds of drivers.

The cold was so bad, that my poor Apple Watch couldn’t take it.  I had it buckled to my vest, because I couldn’t get to my wrist through all of my layers.  The frigid air shut the watch down.

After dealing with freezing my watch off outdoors as a volunteer, a few hours in front of a fireplace, under a blanket with the power off didn’t seem so bad.

My next volunteer date is supposed to have temperatures way up to a balmy 21, so I am looking forward to the heat wave!  

Hopefully you are warm, safe, and healthy.  If you are, please turn down your heat a tad, turn off extra appliances and lights, and conserve what you can so that the grid doesn’t crash and the power stays off a while.  Take care out there!

 

A rant

 

Its been hectic here, and I was feeling a bit down.  Beth got ill (just a cold and  feeling yucky, not serious) and couldn't go to see Twilight with me, and then, last night was the end of True Blood on HBO till next summer!  I'll miss Vampire Bill. Of course, I could re-read all the Sookie Books, that might hold me over.

I wonder though, why is the vampire always the one to win the girl? Now, I am a huge vampire fan myself, and the Buffy series will always be my number one favorite show, but I have to wonder, why do werewolves always lose out to vamps when it comes to love? 

(Yea, I know these photos have nothing to do with what I am talking about. I just listed this stuff onEtsy and was feeling kind of proud of myself for accomplishing something).

In the Twilight series, I was pulling for Jake.  In True Blood, for Sam.  Maybe it is the broodiness of vampires? The dog-guys seem happier and more fun to be with, while the blood suckers are dark and gloomy.  Not all that romantic to me.  That might be why I was a Spike fan instead of an Angel fan. 

(Yes, more photos that don't' go along with what I am saying... this is the giveaway for November, made in my Sally Jean class)

I hope to see Twilight soon, but really hate to think about young girls seeing it. OK,here is where I put on my granny hat and start harping about kids today.... I personally was bothered by the fact that Edward was 100 years older than Bella.  I know, I know, Angel and Spike were older than Buffy and that never bothered me, but Buffy was super human.  Bella is just a kid.

A kid who wants to give up her entire life for her first love?  As a person who married her first love and years later came to regret it, and was able to start over with a wonderful man and live happily ever after, I hate to see young girls everywhere drooling over the romantic dreams of puppy-lovesick Bella. 

(here is the back of the pendant for the giveaway, my fairy grand baby!)

Maybe because I have a young lady in my life, someone I want to grow up strong and smart and healthy, I abhor what Bella is doing to herself for her teen age hormone induced cravings for a MUCH older man.

Ok, rant over. And I am still going to go and see the movie.

 

Anyway, I was feeling a bit down, due to a few things. Like someone saying some unkind things about me on a chat board, and it hurt my feelings. But, an apology came and I feel much better.  Also, look what came in the mail! A sweet reader, for no reason, just kindness, sent me some ephemera and old books she knew I would love. How can you be down when there are nice people like that around?

  

Her goodie box and that apology came on a good day, when I needed it.  There is a lesson there somewhere. Like, always take the time to do or say something nice, you never know when it will be just the thing someone needs at that moment!

 

And of course, I have this event to look forward to! Read about it here.